Courage

November 26, 2011 By Carol-Ann Leave a Comment

Definition

1) The ability to disregard fear; 2) Bravery; 3) To have the courage to act on one’s beliefs.

Tips

Define courage as a selfless act to do what is right regardless of personal consequences. All manner of business, legal and moral dilemmas occur every day in corporations all over the world, and they are the essence of courage. They beg leadership questions as to what each of us would do in similar situations. The choice is between what is right and what is prescribed by prevailing legal wisdom to not admit personal responsibility.

Take a courageous stand to achieve extraordinary results. You cannot choose courage when it is convenient and then abandon its principles when it is not. People watch you make the ordinary, mundane decisions as much as they watch you make the extraordinary, high impact ones. Regrettably, many employees’ experience of leadership is spineless, as in “How little courage can we get away with?”

Step out from behind the insulation of your inner circle. When difficult messages have to be delivered, leaders go eyeball-to-eyeball with their workforce, taking the heat of controversial pressing questions. Courageous leaders value blunt honesty – always. Rather than dodge ‘bullets’ by hiding behind e-mails, they stand up to so-called hard-nosed employees. They also encourage the meek and silent.

Foster employees’ living according to inner truth. Do not hold organizational truth-tellers as “problem employees” because they refuse to be molded by constricted expectations. Rather than saddle them with “corrective measures”, seek out those who refuse to sidestep what needs to be said. Be grateful for employees who fearlessly point out, “the emperor is wearing no clothes.”

Know that real relationships are founded on being real. Withholding serves no one. Real relationships are not always about being ‘nice.’ Instead of “shooting the messenger”, welcome those who are gutsy enough to be candid, no matter how uncomfortable. Observe your reactions to the truth-tellers on your team, and notice to what degree you invite truth-telling from everyone around you – no matter what.

Take tough stands on behalf of the team. Do not be afraid to make yourself somewhat ‘dangerous’ in the world, if this is what it takes to ensure issues are not swept under the carpet. Be willing to incur unpopularity with your peers, if this is what it takes to support your team. Courageous leaders encourage their people to shine, and do what it takes to help them be successful.

Hold on when the dream appears to be slipping from grasp. The time to stand firm is when it would be far easier to say: “Who were we kidding? This is the way it’s always been and is the way it will always be. Who were we to think we could be any different?” Stay the course through challenging times. And, if you do decide to “fold your cards” rather than “hold” them, do it consciously.

Questions For Reflection

To what degree do you invite truth-telling around you and what truths are you most comfortable hearing?

What do you observe about your own reactions to the truth-tellers on your team, as opposed to those who hold back their opinions?

How can you incorporate the attributes of the most trustworthy and integrity-based person in your workplace into your own habits?

Balance

November 26, 2011 By Carol-Ann Leave a Comment

Definition

Balance: 1) To bring into or keep in equilibrium; 2) To establish equal or appropriate proportions of elements; 3) To equal or neutralize the weight or importance of.

Tips

Treat life as a pie. Composed of “slices” (career, relationships, health, personal growth, finances, fun), many treat work as the single largest piece of their lives. Yet, it is one slice of the total pie. When we allow work to consume us, the remaining sectors are forced to compete for the meager leftovers. Do not allow work to literally and figuratively gobble you up.

Circumvent the trap of viewing busyness as a status symbol. For, we are not talking about being positively busy, deriving fulfillment from dedicating yourself to what you consider most important. We are talking about being driven by and complaining about hectic daily routines, putting off essential priorities until they can be squeezed months later into booked up calendars – leaving more room for work!

Focus on what is really important. Many are now realizing corner offices and large salaries are not worth failed relationships, declining health and soul sickness. Work anxiety can poison our entire body’s systems, destroying the very vehicle we need to carry out our work in the world. Left unchecked, we succumb to what the Japanese call karoshi, or death from overwork.

Recognize that people bring their whole selves to work. Compassionate leaders realize people cannot be split into fragmented parts – as if a business self comes to work while the remaining self gets shelved. They strive to accommodate employees’ lives so as to minimize conflicts between work and home; helping employees attend to personal matters creates a focus on work while at work.

Invest in employees’ welfare for ultimate gain. At a time when many employers are concerned about skyrocketing health-care costs, proactive workplaces find it fiscally prudent to reduce this bottom-line drain. Eventually, the demand to minister to balance will become a non-negotiable business decision to address employee protests against inhumane workplaces (not just a reactive step).

View work-life balance as a “way of being” one lives. Work-life balance is not a “program” one “does”. Otherwise, it risks becoming a “phantom” program-of-the-month. It needs to be a core value, tracked and measured as a key performance indicator, as opposed to being motivated by a business desire to look good or by the ulterior motive of creating healthier employees able to take on more work.

Exemplify balance as a core value through your own behaviour. Soul-inspiring leaders point out unhealthy behaviours like excessive overtime and failing to use one’s full vacation. And, they welcome similar feedback. Whereas in unbalanced organizations, employees who consistently put in twelve-hour days are lauded as heroes, in people-friendly workplaces they are targeted for “work smarter, not harder” campaigns!

Avoid “face time” as a measure of productivity. Merely being in one’s char each day is unheard-of in leading-edge environments. Only an untrusting leader would cling to the need to watch employees at all times to ensure work is getting done. However, if number of hours spent at work is your sole measure of shareholder value, you have a broader systemic issue than simply work-life balance.

Questions For Reflection

How much of your sense of self is tied up with doing and achieving at work?

Would your friends and family say you spend enough time with them? Why or why not?

What messages does your behaviour communicate to people about the degree to which you value work-life balance?

Acknowledgement

November 6, 2011 By Carol-Ann Leave a Comment

Definition

Acknowledge: 1) To recognize and accept; 2) To show that one has noticed; 3) To express appreciation.

Tips

Remember to say “please” and “thank-you”. Simple as this childhood lesson seems, we still find that small child who craves positive feedback beneath the well-protected adult veneer. It does matter if our days are filled with endless constructive criticism over weaknesses. Counter a focus on negatives with an equal or greater dose of basic human courtesy plus with thanks for a job well done.

Treat acknowledgement as a natural fit with your day. Taking time to acknowledge others is not a chore to be crammed into your day. It need take no longer than a passing comment or handshake, or visiting people at their workstations. Or, start meetings with feedback that recognizes those who have gone above and beyond. Look for opportunities to catch people doing things right. It’s easy.

Express your recognition with an open heart and spirit. Make it “all about them”. Speak about others’ greatness rather than intruding fanfare about your own contributions to a shared success. Soul-inspiring leaders are humble, using acknowledgement to build up people. Think the selflessness of Mother Teresa, who used the spotlight to profile her charges, not herself.

Make your feedback genuine and sincere. Since people can readily spot phony compliments, rather say nothing at all than be insincere. Particularly if team members view you as ungenerous in offering positive feedback, your sudden liberal sharing could otherwise risk becoming a flavour of the month, as in “Uh-oh, the boss has been to another one of those feedback seminars.”

Be specific in your praise. While we hear “great job” often enough in organizational corridors, this common phrase leaves employees wondering, “What exactly was great about what I just did?” Instead, describe in concrete language the behaviours you noticed, as well as the positive impact of the person’s actions. This allows them to repeat what worked in the future.

Recognize people for who they are. Rather than see people simply as human “doings”, soul-inspiring leaders recognize them as human “beings”, valuable for that reason alone. In coaching, this is the distinction between acknowledging (using statements that start with “you”, describing the unique talents the person possesses) and complimenting (where it is still about what “I” noticed).

Emphasize the how, not just the what. The how has to do with voice tone and body language – together, 93% of the total message. The what has to do with words – the other 7% of communication. How we say things is therefore significantly more important than what we say. Keep in mind that how you acknowledge others will leave a more lingering effect than what you necessarily said.

Questions For Reflection

When was the last time you said “please” or “thank you” to someone in your workplace?

How generous are you in offering positive feedback to colleagues at all levels in your organization?

Do you believe performance is enhanced by the “carrot”, or do you assume extraordinary effort is an inherent part of job requirements?

Introducing The Corporate Healer

November 6, 2011 By Carol-Ann Leave a Comment

What Is a Corporate Healer?

According to the Oxford Reference Dictionary, to heal means: 1) To cause an injury to become sound or healthy again; 2) To “put right” (differences etc.); 3) To alleviate (sorrow etc.).

Sign me up for all three and more!

For, when I look back upon my 25-year employed career plus examine eight-plus years of entrepreneurship thus far, I notice that the degree of wounding I and others in my expanding circles have experienced is virtually incalculable.

As I so often express in my facilitation, coaching and speaking engagements, I have personally suffered (and survived) every form of Toxic Boss (never mind employee!) known to humankind save for sexual harassment.

The original injuries healed (through countless hours of therapy and personal coaching), I can now express my sincere gratitude toward all the truly harmful individuals who have crossed my path over the past three decades. They have given me a significant portion of my Life’s Purpose. It is to transform the workplace by inspiring leaders to inspire results through inspired employees.

More and more, as I navigate today’s challenging corporate landscape, I see people immediately “get it” that there is a Tsunami-sized Talent War at every industry’s doorstep to attract, retain and engage the Next-Generation Workforce.

No more for the Millennials to put up with the b-s Baby Boomers and preceding cohorts have endured at the hands of lethal heads of business! The times of “we can get more of where they came from” and “they better get on board or else” are mercifully over!

A Battle Royale is underway between the status quo and forces for Transformation. I squarely place myself in the second camp.

Ignited by an article read years ago, I now claim such titles as Catalyst and Pioneer-Visionary. Like a worker handling radioactive material, I don protective gear in the form of an invisible suit of armor while leading the charge to heal organizational toxicity.

Please join me in partnering to repair the torn threads of corporate ethics and personal integrity. I invite your sharing with open arms!

I honestly pray that by the time my planned-112 years on Earth are at an end, everyone will be employed in workplaces where profit is realized as an outcome of treating people right rather than an all-consuming goal. My commitment is bone-deep and never-wavering.

Only then will the soul-wounding survived at the hands of so many dysfunctional leaders have been made worthwhile by being transmuted into a legacy of soul-inspiring leadership.

What Is Class?

November 6, 2011 By Carol-Ann Leave a Comment

A Story That Makes the Point

There I was at an engagement – the featured keynote speaker as well as a panelist and workshop facilitator. The opportunity was a conference to which influential and wealthy women were expressly invited by the convener. I was honoured.

You can imagine in mounting even a six-hour event, much groundwork ensued behind the scenes. These preparatory aspects entailed specific instructions about the day’s timing in order to stay on schedule. Toward that end, panelists were sent our questions in advance so as to render succinct responses. The unspoken purpose was to demonstrate respect for the four other women who would be offering their insights.

Despite the attention to detail intended to ensure a successful experience, what do you imagine happened?

Hardly had the moderator posed her first query than the individual in question proceeded to grab the microphone – even though another panelist had clearly raised her hand to go first. Oblivious to the audience’s askanced looks, this woman launched into a five-minute monologue that can only be described as ignorant – all about her greatness and arrogant views that “the rules are not for me”. As if she alone on Earth were exempt!

Wow. My mouth hangs open still. I was stunned. I remain inflamed.

Why? That one action alone displayed such cavalier disrespect for everyone in the room I can scarcely believe it to this day. On top of it, her energy-vampire actions ultimately compromised the remaining agenda, as no one stepped forward in courageous leadership to stop her self-absorption in its tracks.

The Top Ten List

While processing these shocking behaviours up to my wrists in weeds and garden dirt afterwards, a whole article on “class” came to me so quickly, I kept coming indoors to record the insights on what is now a very scruffy scrap of paper. Not a usual Top Ten List, may the alternating rhythms provoke deep contemplation in you:

True Class imparts wisdom when requested – always in service and love.

Fake Class foists opinion – unsolicited – for the purpose of self-gain.

True Class shines light upon others’ greatness – making them feel special.

Surface Class focuses singularly upon its own magnificence.

True Class accords space for authenticity of exchange – a safe truth-speaking refuge.

Low Class siphons others’ life force – shutting them down.

True Class knows its worth and walks with humility plus nobility of carriage.

No Class shores up its value through shameless self-promotion.

True Class stands in silent power – feet firmly planted in grace.

Shaky Class leans in on others – oblivious to impact and obsessed with its neediness.

Parting Reflections

If there were an over-arching conclusion at which I encourage you to arrive, it would be: True Class has nothing to do with outer wealth and everything to do with inner riches.

Interestingly, while composing this piece, I suddenly remembered a classic from Ann Landers’ Encyclopedia. For decades, she served as a trusted source of advice via her U.S.newspaper column. What do you think it was called? That’s right! “What Is Class?”

What an inspiration to reconnect with a meaningful piece that had enormously impressed me already as a child in the 1960’s. Yes, that’s how far back we’re talking! As you read along, I hope you will agree that class is indeed timeless.

"Class never runs scared. It is sure-footed and confident in the knowledge that you can meet life head on and handle whatever comes along."

"Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes."

"Class is considerate of others. It knows that good manners are nothing more than a series of small sacrifices."

"Class never tries to build itself up by tearing others down. Class is already up and need not strive to look better by making others look worse."

"Class can ‘walk with kings and keep its virtue and talk with crowds and keep the common touch.’ Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because he is comfortable with himself."

"If you have class you don't need much of anything else. If you don't have it, no matter what else you have, it doesn't make much difference."

Well said, Ann!

Whatever Happened to “Common” Courtesy?

September 10, 2011 By Carol-Ann Leave a Comment

The Value of “Contrast”

Have you ever noticed that daily life provides multiple opportunities to experience what Esther and Jerry Hicks call in their fine work, Getting into the Vortex, “contrast”? By this term, they mean that when others behave in ways contrary to our cherished values and principles, they (unintentionally) assist us to clarify what is right by us.

As such, one ought to be grateful for others’ “contrasting” attitudes and actions. Without such “negative” experiences, The Hicks purport, we would not nearly know ourselves as well. In other words, we need every relationship that exists around us, for everyone in our sphere constantly informs our own principles for living.

This tenet has been a theme in my writing on more than one occasion. That’s because I accept it to be fully true.

Is Courtesy Common or Uncommon?

Boy, did this pivotal point ever come home to me big-time recently!

To set just enough – but not too much context to violate confidentiality – I recently followed through on a colleague’s recommendation to advance my name for a joint venture. We were directed to contact a senior individual who carries a heavy workload.

Who of us is not busy these days, however? I sure don’t have the time to sit around and eat chocolates!

Thus, when I carved a pocket from my overwhelming schedule to pursue the lead, I expected to receive the “courtesy” of an acknowledgement. We’re not talking an essay. Just a one-liner to indicate my carefully-crafted but succinct message had been received.

In the face of expressed frustration over the lack of follow-up within my trusted network, people have generally said: “That’s just the way it is these days, Carol-Ann. Get used to it. Let it go.” Never!

For, these same individuals recite their own irritated stories about co-workers who: don’t answer their phones (when able); avoid human interaction with someone sitting in the next cubicle; hide behind email. All are supposedly “common” traits nowadays.

The Top Ten List

And, what is courtesy but “good manners, polite or kind” (Oxford Dictionary)? As we further investigate the subject, I encourage you to consider your responses to these questions on a scale from 1 (never) to 10 (always):

When was the last time you prefaced a request with “please”?
How often do you say “thank-you” when someone fulfills on your requests?
Do you consciously think about your impact on the circles that surround you?
If you’re too overwhelmed to deal with a colleague in person in the moment, do you negotiate an alternative time to do so?
Do you contribute to endless CYA email-strings? (I think you know what this is!)
When communicating unpopular information, do you keep others’ self-esteem intact?
Even if you’re on deadline, do you acknowledge colleagues’ correspondence with an indication of when you’ll get back to them?
To what degree do you follow-through with an orientation toward service?
Are you too busy to be “nice”?
Do you conclude that those who prefer a human touch are soft, weak or whiners?

Parting Reflections

If you’re right now thinking, I live on a different planet, I urge you to think again!

For, my recent experiences have caused me to worry (along with fellow authors, columnists and speakers) about what will happen to “common courtesy” as a result of two-thumbed and/or avoidant communication styles that somehow renders it OK to treat others with downright ignorance or rudeness. I didn’t previously; I now do.

As a consequence, here’s my very-public commitment. You have my absolute permission to call me out should these promises ever be broken:

To make the K chapter in The Next A to Z Guide to Soul-Inspiring Leadership (in production) stand for Kindness (you can be sure I shall be making the “business case” for treating others right);
To always make time for people – no matter how “big” I personally get;
To never fall prey to this recent exchange between the pointy-haired boss and Alice, drawn from Scott Adams’ famed “Dilbert” cartoon. (There’s a reason Adams strikes such a familiar chord.)

Boss: I’m just stopping by to say you’re doing a great job, Alice.

Alice: You never do that! It’s a trick! Die, monster, die!

Boss (declared to Dogbert): I might have a credibility issue

Enlighten & Enliven

June 29, 2011 By Carol-Ann Leave a Comment

The Facilitator’s Life

Is each day a whirlwind? Do countless competing demands rule your calendar? It wouldn’t be surprising to hear you put groups, colleagues, friends and family first. Rendering you last…

Yet, “to facilitate” means “to make easy or less difficult or more easily achieved” (Oxford English Reference Dictionary). Begging the question – what are we as facilitators doing to smooth our own lives?

Are You Alive or Lively?

Those inspired by a mission or cause tend to assume multi-tasking enables us to endlessly juggle myriad responsibilities without consequence.

Not true! We must instead practice extreme self-care. Does this sound self-indulgent? If so, remember the airline adage to don your oxygen mask during crisis. In this case, the “emergency” is your sustained ability to perform your important contributions.

Bringing us to a key distinction… “Liveliness” refers to vigorous and energetic. “Aliveness” in turn encompasses “living, not dead”.

Do you choose to be merely alive – or full of life?

The Opportunity

If you want lively, step off your “crazy busy” treadmill and reflect on what’s really important. Now! As Rainer Maria Rilke’s proposes: “There is only one journey; going inside.”

Here – some encouragements I offer at wellness conferences, team-building retreats and personal growth workshops:

Examine your thoughts. We’re said to have 60,000 thoughts per day. Be watchful. You literally create your reality.

Name what blocks you. Is fear or doubt a familiar companion? Get beneath how you sabotage success and heal your wounded recesses.

Identify daily energizers. Brainstorm enhancing activities in two, five, fifteen and half-hour increments. Pinpoint tolerations (energy drains in your environment, work, relationships, finances, etc). Vow to eliminate them.

Further, notice how your inner wisdom responds to these invitations to summon connection to your deeper calling:

1. I am most myself when __________________________________.

2. My mission needs the quality of ______________________________ from me.

3. I would like to change in the world __________________________________.

The Call to Action

You know, up to three years ago, I was seriously joy-challenged. The last person who should teach “let go and lighten up” J

As such, Buckminster Fuller’s term, “precession”, makes perfect sense. It denotes a series of small steps leading to an astonishing, unforeseen conclusion.

Though many would love to imagine otherwise, uncovering your liveliness isn’t an overnight phenomenon. Across 52 years so far, expansion has been measured by my courageous willingness to uproot beliefs and attitudes which no longer support my higher purpose. Such “scouring” isn’t necessarily easy but always worthwhile.

In closing, let me ask: Why do you continue your work? Without knowing you (yet), I gather facilitation expresses part of Who You Really Are. You’re undoubtedly a “guiding light” who invokes transformation through personal example.

To support your passionate bravery, William Barkley writes: “There are two great days in a person’s life – when we are born and we discover why.” Joseph Campbell adds: “When you follow your bliss, doors will open where you would not have thought there were doors.”

The world awaits you.