Definition

1) A strong mental or instinctive feeling; 2) The capacity to feel; 3) An opinion or notion.

Tips

Question the business world’s ambivalence about feelings.  For many leaders, “happy, happy, happy!” is all they want to hear; do not bring them any bad news.  Instead of classifying feelings as OK/not OK, allowed or forbidden, accept them as natural.  Feelings simply are…neither good nor bad.  We are human beings, and to shut off the valve to our emotions is to eliminate some portion of our humanity.

Deal with issues openly.  Contrary to the tired advice, “employees must learn to manage (also known as control and squelch) their emotions,” why not instead teach them to deal with issues openly and directly?  Bringing out pent-up emotions purges festering resentment, heals unhealthy relationships and releases blocked creativity.

Scrutinize how people act on their feelings.  How we act on feelings (our behaviour) can and should be subject to scrutiny.  Those who express anger through temper tantrums should be held accountable for acting out.  Neither petulant outbursts nor sulky moodiness have a place in business settings.  It is the difference between moving forward productively and unleashing a flood of dumping.

Avoid allowing feelings to slip underground.  When feelings are submerged, they do not conveniently disappear (contrary to popular belief).  They go from overt (visible and available for being worked through) to covert (hidden and difficult to access).  The goal is always to facilitate having the covert become overt so that feelings do not become painful, time-consuming and costly to excavate.

Get comfortable with conflict and emotional upset.  Being afraid of “discussing the undiscussables” actually heightens tension.  Conflict will not miraculously clear up if ignored.  Communication breakdowns must be explicitly declared.  Teach people that feelings are healthy and take the lead in drawing out emotions.  Make it easy for employees to express their points of view.

Invite the expression of all emotions during times of transition.  Periods of intense change naturally create transitions.  Transitions (the psychological process people go through to come to terms with a new situation) are no time for stiff upper lips.  If anything, unspoken dictates to hold emotions in check are probably the greatest disservice done to people at work; anger and tears are vital to clearing emotions.

Apply “emotional intelligence” when dealing with feelings.  High in EQ, or “emotional intelligence”, soul-inspiring leaders listen with empathy when dealing with their own and others’ feelings.  They do not confuse sympathy with empathy.  Instead, they empathize passionately and realistically with people, and care intensely about the work employees do.  They are open to both laughing and crying each day.

Reframe the belief that showing feelings is weak.  Soul-inspiring leaders throw away the old adage that displaying feelings is weak.  They do not have to be aloof and analytical to be effective.  In being willing to bring their whole selves to work, they recognize one does not have to be the cold-hearted boss to be respected.  It is not necessary to choose being liked or respected; one can have both.

Questions For Reflection

To what extent do you allow yourself to show your true feelings at work?  Are there any feelings you consider inappropriate to display in business?

What do you honestly think of others who freely demonstrate a full range of emotion at work?

What is the strongest feeling you have about your organization?

Definition

1) Variety; 2) A different kind; 3) Unlike in nature or qualities.

Tips

Recognize we have evolved into the age of the individualist.  This social trend began with the “Me” generation and has accelerated as we moved into the demographic cohort often referred to as “Gen Y.”  Each successive generation defines itself in its own way and integrates into existing cultural norms on its own terms.  People are increasingly defining themselves as individuals rather than group members.

Accept the growing diversity of your workforce.  No longer will the next generation of workers feel, think or behave in the same way as the previous one.  Companies employing hundreds or thousands will find their workforce spans several generations.  At a typical working lifespan of thirty to forty years, many employers could conceivably have two to three generations on their payroll at one time.

Expect a shift away from conformity.  When homogeneity and conformity were the norm, managing was easier.  In fact, the mere expectation of conformity gave management a certain comfort in its ability to set expectations uniformly, with little risk of interlopers “upsetting the balance.”  This is no longer the case today; embracing diversity is now a competitive imperative.

Avoid falling into the “goof gap.”  Younger generations’ attitudes can be dramatically different from those held dear by many senior leaders in organizations today.  This dissonance has created a chasm of misunderstanding called the “goof gap” – that unsuspecting divide between leaders’ intentions and how they communicate, versus how their messages are understood.

Recognize that you are not infallible.  Unlike the boss in the ever-popular syndicated cartoon, Dilbert, leaders must collect a diversity of opinion before making decisions.  No longer will it be acceptable to treat individuals as “all the same” (if indeed it ever was).  In soul-inspiring organizations, people are engaged at all levels – contributing their diverse skills, talents and attitudes.

Meet diversity of needs with a diversity of response.  The workplace of the future will have to learn to engage its frontline leaders in real leadership by creating organizational responses that meet individual needs rather than enforcing policy or practice, as is often the case today.  While a fundamental shift, it offers undeniable advantage and competitive returns in a shrinking labour market.

Think of diversity as freedom of expression.  Thinking of diversity as more than simply the overall work environment, freedom of expression implies a sense of congruence between who people truly are and where they choose to work – along with the organization’s ability to recruit and retain the best employees for the work to be done.  It has to do with being an employer of choice.

Questions For Reflection

Think about a time when you fell into the “goof gap”; what will you do differently in the future to avoid this problem?

Is the concept of embracing diversity and individualism a hallmark of your leadership style and practices (selfware), or a hallmark of your words but not behavior (shelfware)?

How can you design a diversity-related intervention that uses the concept of “selfware” to embed one powerful change in behavior that will be obvious to everyone in your organization?

Definition

1) The ability to disregard fear; 2) Bravery; 3) To have the courage to act on one’s beliefs.

Tips

Define courage as a selfless act to do what is right regardless of personal consequences.  All manner of business, legal and moral dilemmas occur every day in corporations all over the world, and they are the essence of courage.  They beg leadership questions as to what each of us would do in similar situations.  The choice is between what is right and what is prescribed by prevailing legal wisdom to not admit personal responsibility.

Take a courageous stand to achieve extraordinary results.  You cannot choose courage when it is convenient and then abandon its principles when it is not.  People watch you make the ordinary, mundane decisions as much as they watch you make the extraordinary, high impact ones.  Regrettably, many employees’ experience of leadership is spineless, as in “How little courage can we get away with?”

Step out from behind the insulation of your inner circle.  When difficult messages have to be delivered, leaders go eyeball-to-eyeball with their workforce, taking the heat of controversial pressing questions.  Courageous leaders value blunt honesty – always.  Rather than dodge ‘bullets’ by hiding behind e-mails, they stand up to so-called hard-nosed employees.  They also encourage the meek and silent.

Foster employees’ living according to inner truth.  Do not hold organizational truth-tellers as “problem employees” because they refuse to be molded by constricted expectations.  Rather than saddle them with “corrective measures”, seek out those who refuse to sidestep what needs to be said.  Be grateful for employees who fearlessly point out, “the emperor is wearing no clothes.”

Know that real relationships are founded on being real.  Withholding serves no one.  Real relationships are not always about being ‘nice.’  Instead of “shooting the messenger”, welcome those who are gutsy enough to be candid, no matter how uncomfortable.  Observe your reactions to the truth-tellers on your team, and notice to what degree you invite truth-telling from everyone around you – no matter what.

Take tough stands on behalf of the team.  Do not be afraid to make yourself somewhat ‘dangerous’ in the world, if this is what it takes to ensure issues are not swept under the carpet.  Be willing to incur unpopularity with your peers, if this is what it takes to support your team.  Courageous leaders encourage their people to shine, and do what it takes to help them be successful.

Hold on when the dream appears to be slipping from grasp.  The time to stand firm is when it would be far easier to say: “Who were we kidding?  This is the way it’s always been and is the way it will always be.  Who were we to think we could be any different?”  Stay the course through challenging times.  And, if you do decide to “fold your cards” rather than “hold” them, do it consciously.

Questions For Reflection

To what degree do you invite truth-telling around you and what truths are you most comfortable hearing?

What do you observe about your own reactions to the truth-tellers on your team, as opposed to those who hold back their opinions?

How can you incorporate the attributes of the most trustworthy and integrity-based person in your workplace into your own habits?

Definition

Balance: 1) To bring into or keep in equilibrium; 2) To establish equal or appropriate proportions of elements; 3) To equal or neutralize the weight or importance of.

Tips

Treat life as a pie.  Composed of “slices” (career, relationships, health, personal growth, finances, fun), many treat work as the single largest piece of their lives.  Yet, it is one slice of the total pie.  When we allow work to consume us, the remaining sectors are forced to compete for the meager leftovers.  Do not allow work to literally and figuratively gobble you up.

Circumvent the trap of viewing busyness as a status symbol.  For, we are not talking about being positively busy, deriving fulfillment from dedicating yourself to what you consider most important.  We are talking about being driven by and complaining about hectic daily routines, putting off essential priorities until they can be squeezed months later into booked up calendars – leaving more room for work!

Focus on what is really important.   Many are now realizing corner offices and large salaries are not worth failed relationships, declining health and soul sickness.  Work anxiety can poison our entire body’s systems, destroying the very vehicle we need to carry out our work in the world.  Left unchecked, we succumb to what the Japanese call karoshi, or death from overwork.

Recognize that people bring their whole selves to work.  Compassionate leaders realize people cannot be split into fragmented parts – as if a business self comes to work while the remaining self gets shelved.  They strive to accommodate employees’ lives so as to minimize conflicts between work and home; helping employees attend to personal matters creates a focus on work while at work.

Invest in employees’ welfare for ultimate gain.  At a time when many employers are concerned about skyrocketing health-care costs, proactive workplaces find it fiscally prudent to reduce this bottom-line drain.  Eventually, the demand to minister to balance will become a non-negotiable business decision to address employee protests against inhumane workplaces (not just a reactive step).

View work-life balance as a “way of being” one lives.  Work-life balance is not a “program” one “does”.  Otherwise, it risks becoming a “phantom” program-of-the-month.  It needs to be a core value, tracked and measured as a key performance indicator, as opposed to being motivated by a business desire to look good or by the ulterior motive of creating healthier employees able to take on more work.

Exemplify balance as a core value through your own behaviour.  Soul-inspiring leaders point out unhealthy behaviours like excessive overtime and failing to use one’s full vacation.  And, they welcome similar feedback.  Whereas in unbalanced organizations, employees who consistently put in twelve-hour days are lauded as heroes, in people-friendly workplaces they are targeted for “work smarter, not harder” campaigns!

Avoid “face time” as a measure of productivity.  Merely being in one’s char each day is unheard-of in leading-edge environments.  Only an untrusting leader would cling to the need to watch employees at all times to ensure work is getting done.  However, if number of hours spent at work is your sole measure of shareholder value, you have a broader systemic issue than simply work-life balance.

Questions For Reflection

How much of your sense of self is tied up with doing and achieving at work?

Would your friends and family say you spend enough time with them?  Why or why not?

What messages does your behaviour communicate to people about the degree to which you value work-life balance?

Definition

Acknowledge: 1) To recognize and accept; 2) To show that one has noticed; 3) To express appreciation.

Tips

Remember to say “please” and “thank-you”.  Simple as this childhood lesson seems, we still find that small child who craves positive feedback beneath the well-protected adult veneer.  It does matter if our days are filled with endless constructive criticism over weaknesses.  Counter a focus on negatives with an equal or greater dose of basic human courtesy plus with thanks for a job well done.

Treat acknowledgement as a natural fit with your day.  Taking time to acknowledge others is not a chore to be crammed into your day.  It need take no longer than a passing comment or handshake, or visiting people at their workstations.  Or, start meetings with feedback that recognizes those who have gone above and beyond.  Look for opportunities to catch people doing things right.  It’s easy.

Express your recognition with an open heart and spirit.  Make it “all about them”.  Speak about others’ greatness rather than intruding fanfare about your own contributions to a shared success.  Soul-inspiring leaders are humble, using acknowledgement to build up people.  Think the selflessness of Mother Teresa, who used the spotlight to profile her charges, not herself.

Make your feedback genuine and sincere.  Since people can readily spot phony compliments, rather say nothing at all than be insincere.  Particularly if team members view you as ungenerous in offering positive feedback, your sudden liberal sharing could otherwise risk becoming a flavour of the month, as in “Uh-oh, the boss has been to another one of those feedback seminars.”

Be specific in your praise.  While we hear “great job” often enough in organizational corridors, this common phrase leaves employees wondering, “What exactly was great about what I just did?”  Instead, describe in concrete language the behaviours you noticed, as well as the positive impact of the person’s actions.  This allows them to repeat what worked in the future.

Recognize people for who they are.  Rather than see people simply as human “doings”, soul-inspiring leaders recognize them as human “beings”, valuable for that reason alone.  In coaching, this is the distinction between acknowledging (using statements that start with “you”, describing the unique talents the person possesses) and complimenting (where it is still about what “I” noticed).

Emphasize the how, not just the what.  The how has to do with voice tone and body language – together, 93% of the total message.  The what has to do with words – the other 7% of communication.  How we say things is therefore significantly more important than what we say.  Keep in mind that how you acknowledge others will leave a more lingering effect than what you necessarily said.

Questions For Reflection

When was the last time you said “please” or “thank you” to someone in your workplace?

How generous are you in offering positive feedback to colleagues at all levels in your organization?

Do you believe performance is enhanced by the “carrot”, or do you assume extraordinary effort is an inherent part of job requirements?